Loss of a Mate
by TempestinTime
Summary: A story on how much loss can change someone. Inspired by another sad fic I read. HGRL. Warning: a harsh tragedy, not a cheery fic but a profound one i think.


They had hardly been married six months when the healers told them the news.

Remus had been pacing by her bed, such protracted illness wasn't normal. She was weak, vomiting constantly and her memory kept failing her. They hadn't come through the second great wizarding war just to be felled by a mystery illness.

The healer paused in the door way to look sadly into the couples room, the haggard looking man in slightly shabby robes and the beautiful bushy hared young woman who had the slightest look of bemusment on her face, as tho she had forgotten why she was in a bed at St Mungo's.

Healer Coombe cleared her throat to announce her arrival, the older man froze and the woman's eyes drifted over to her unconcernedly.

"We have run every test and diagnostic spell we can Mr Lupin, but I'm afraid there is nothing that can be done" turning to Hermione she continued, "Your pregnant Mrs Lupin."

The little colour that had still been in Remus's face drained away like a potion down a sink leaving him the colour of new parchment.

"Oh that's nice" Hermione said dazedly and went back to looking out the window.

Remus staggered to his feet from where he had fallen into a chair at the pronouncement of the news.

"But… No!" he uttered harshly, "We took every precaution, every spell and potion, this shouldn't have happened!"

Coombe looked at him sadly, the whole wizarding world knew werewolf women could carry to term successfully, either sired from another werewolf or normal wizards but that witches could not bear a werewolf's child. It was nearly always fatal to the mother.

"If we had caught the pregnancy earlier we could have saved her, but it's too far gone, to remove the pregnancy now would kill her. I'm sorry"

Looking down on the notations on the file in her hands the healer looked for some small hope she might be able to give the grieving man.

"There is always a chance she will live through the birth of your son"

The healer shook her head sadly at her attempt; Remus was looking through her now, no longer seeing the woman in green healing robes but at a future now asunder.

The healer left quietly to begin the process of establishing the woman in a ward that would house her for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Remus looked down at his young wife who had fallen asleep only moments ago, she was ethereal there, laying as tho not a care in the world had darkened her doorstep. He had done this to her, it was his fault. He had felt a connection to her the moment their fingers had touched when he had handed her a piece of chocolate on the Hogwarts express, had felt the tug of a Wolves Mate every time she had entered his class room. And every time he had steeled himself against it, she was so young and had so much ahead of her that he refused to acknowledge what she could be to him. Life had birthed them to far apart, age and war had kept them separate and he had resigned himself to the hope that the next life would be more kind to them and that they would be together then.

The war had come with vengeance and his heart had broken every time he had felt her fear or she had come back to the headquarters with a new wound. When she had vanished with Harry and Ron to hunt the Horcruxes he had nearly gone mad with fear at what might befall her. When Ron had returned just once to Grimmauld Place alone admitting he had abandon them Remus had nearly shredded him limb from limb. The red haze had descended and the wolf within him had howled for the young man's blood at leaving his mate undefended. Only the light voice of his Mate had brought him back from a mistake that would have killed the young man. His heart had seized at her voice but turned to lead just as fast as he saw that it was not her but Tonks changing her voice in a desperate attempt to pull him back from the edge. She had not done it callously nor with malice, but to help in the only way she could but he had not been able to look at her again for days.

When the final battle had begun he had searched for her desperately, between killing Death Eaters and trying not to be killed he had searched for her.

Finally he had found her, crouched over a still Tonks, refusing to move while staving off the attack of the pair of Death Eaters closing in on her. The wolf within him had risen at the threat to his Mate and, for the first time, the two had united and lashed out, the combined fury strengthening his magic to a higher level than he had ever known possible. Lashing out his wand he had uttered the first Unforgivable to ever cross his lips, and the last, both Death Eaters had been flung across the room and were dead long before they hit the ground.

In the aftermath of the battle, when the survivors sat in shock at their victory and at the sheer loss they had suffered he found her again, knelt beside Tonks. The Auror had fought bravely but was one of so many that had simply been overwhelmed.

In the weeks that followed werewolf and witch had helped to repair the castle, Remus had watched as Hermione and Ron had parted amicably, he finally admitting he loved another witch from within the order. She had returned to his side with a lone tear rolling down her cheek and he had held out his hand. His first concession towards what he could no longer deny.

Weeks and months had passed and their friendship had grown into a relationship and at his admittance of love she had told him she loved him as well. His happiness had known no bounds and they had wed a year later. She had been saddened to find out they would never be able to have their own children but as ever her pragmatic self had suggested adopting one of the war orphans so in need of a loving home. He had almost been convinced when she had fallen ill.

Now he stood here, watching her chest rise and fall with the wrenching knowledge in the pit of his stomach that he was going to lose her.

Hermione did not wake up from her sleep. The pregnancy had pulled her into a coma. His last words to her had been a reassurance that her favourite book was indeed in her bag. It was so simple and mundane, he hadn't even told her he loved her that day.

Over the coming months he hardly left her side or her room, every one of their friends came to visit once or often. They shouted and screamed, they blamed him and her, they cursed and cried but none ever felt even a small amount compared to the agony he felt burning through every vein at her stillness.

As her stomach swelled his hate for the child within her grew, who was it to take her from him, they had used everything in their world to prevent a pregnancy and still this parasite had taken root.

The friends and surrogate family of man at the side of the brightest witch of that age watched helpless as the proud kind man that they knew slowly devolved into a bitter, harsh and heartbroken man.

The day came when the monitoring spells placed on Hermione indicated labour had begun. The healers bustled about for the tricky birth but Remus never once looked in their direction, his whole being focused on the face of his beloved wife and Mate. When finally the squalling boy came into the world Hermione took her last breath, her heart thudded to a halt in his ears and he felt his own stutter in response. It was a miracle that she had made it this far they said, she should have died long ago from carrying a werewolf child.

He turned away from the healer who tried to hand him his son. He wanted nothing to do with the being who had taken his Mate from him.

Hours Remus sat at her side, as her body cooled and her scent changed he came to a decision. Harry entered the room, holding the baby and looked sadly to Hermione then Remus.

Harry drew a breath to say something but Remus quickly cut him off.

"No." he stated simply. He gazed one last time on his beloved Mates serene face then stood straight. He turned to Harry and said simply "Goodbye."

Then with only the smallest glance at the baby in Harry's arms Remus walked out the door.

He never returned.


End file.
